Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
