Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
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