Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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