I CAN MOONWALK!
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
