I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Randomize
