the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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