Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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