I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Randomize
