Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
