Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
