the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Randomize
