Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
