she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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