he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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