he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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