gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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