He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
