we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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