do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
