12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
