haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
