He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
