I smell stomach acid.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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