The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
