Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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