that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
