I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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