Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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