There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
The beer is more important than you right now.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
