I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
