We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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