Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
