I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
