Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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