I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
