these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
