I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
