Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
