My pussy is not your playground.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
