"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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