I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
