Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
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