I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Damn victory sex feels great
as a side note pls kill me
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
