3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
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