Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
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