It's Friday. Sex?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
