Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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