Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
