I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize