WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize
