I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Randomize
